A lesson learnt

remember the post that i had a few days ago about how much i miss that first love of mine?

i just remember why it wouldn't work in the first place

after turning 21, i had some thinking ..

and i realize , despite all the shit excuses we had

he was a mean asshole who exert his 'power' upon me

he yells at me in front of my friends

he made me feel so small

he made me feel so unworthy of myself

like without him, i would be nothing

he uses stupid words on me , not caring about my feelings

words like " no la .. where got liddat one"

and " dun think too much ok?"

looking back, i wonder why i had tolerated that behaviour

was i such a people pleaser?

i guess because i had feelings for him, i shut one eye and refuse to look at it

but now looking back, i'm glad

thank you for the lesson

thank you for letting me know who are people who would be out to hurt me

thank you for the sweet memories

you were not the one for me but you made me grow

i'm tired of people not taking me seriously

i'm tired of people treating me as if i'm so stupid or desperate

from this day onwards, i ain't gonna smile and take it anymore